When All Health Breaks Loose…
From one extreme onto the next; that is my life. Always has been and apparently always will be! At least a day in the life of moi is never dull. To elaborate, I go from on the verge of unemployment (or what feels like it anyway) to getting another job and starting another accelerated class which leaves shaving my legs completely unnecessary. Point being, I won’t get much opportunity to socialize or even blog nonetheless (which apparently I am bad at keeping up with. Sorry, folks. I’ll stop sucking at some point. ONE DAY, I SHALL MAKE THIS A SUCCESS…but for now it’s time for me to finish this post and continue to avoid procrastinating on homework for a class about numbers and statistics that I couldn’t give a shit about even if I was tempted with organic dark chocolate almonds…and that’s saying something). However, I really can’t complain; after all, these are good problems to have. In fact, I should feel lucky to have these problems. I could have problems like not being able to afford food to survive or being homeless…I definitely take what I do have for granted, something I’ve been working on fixing (old habits die hard, right-o?) Anywho, due to these newfound problems, I now have some light at the end of the tunnel that shows visions of me paying my rent on time, getting my half sleeve tattoo finished, and supporting my other half…AKA, the hedgehog that I am adopting and will be taking home in just a matter of days .
ISN’T HE JUST PRECIOUS?!
His name is Hippocrates Lewis-Bonheur Asher. Hippocrates, although of another species, he is going to be Greek like me. And while we’re at it, why not name him after one of the greatest philosophers of all time, a man also considered the father of food and medicine? Considering that’s the path that I want to go down career-wise, I think it’s a good choice. Now, for kicks, I asked one of my best friends if she would be the god mother of this beautiful little creature–she said yes. This will be quite the task and I appreciate her taking on such a significant role in this insectivore’s life. To portray my appreciation, I told her she could give him a middle name and she chose Lewis. Personally, I am not too keen on the name Lewis but it was her first choice and I wanted to respect that. To fuck shit up a little, I decided to add on to his middle name with the good old hyphen. How else could I jazz up this soft bellied blob of cuteness from the animal kingdom? Well, I know that I am kind of a hippie in regards to buying local and eating clean as much as possible and all of that “hippie” sort of stuff, but I have loved Chanel for so long and always will…it is my brand and parfum of choice! Not because of people like Karl Lagerfeld though (I soooo badly want his job as Creative Director…sigh…someday, maybe, someday), but because of the original lady herself and all that she stood for, miss Gabrielle Bonheur (Coco Chanel). In my opinion, she was one of the greatest feminists of her time. Noting this, Bonheur was added on to Hippocrates’ middle name. The last name (Asher) is my last name, so naturally that goes in there as well. BUT this is quite a lengthy name and since the first five letters of Hippocrates spell out Hippo…that’s what I will be calling him for short .
Anyway. Adding a pet to what has become a hectic life probably seems like a rather silly idea. It’s also random; “why the fuck get some exotic creature as a pet? You can barely handle what you’ve already got going on, Miss Grace.“ This is a legit question and I have asked myself this question many times for various scenarios. So, yeah, WHY? I’ll tell you why. We’ve only got one life to live and we might as well make it worth living with a little adventure and excitement. Though living a long life is important to me, the quality of it is more precious than anything else. Like, I hate heights, but I’m not going to let that stop me from going on a roller coaster. Nor am I going to be that bitch who says “oh yeah! I SO WANT TO GO TO SIX FLAGS!” and then complain about how much she hates heights in which she ultimately decides to not go on the rides at all. I refuse to be that Debbie Downer, at least not to the public (on most days anyway ). Getting a second job was something I potentially could have done without, but I wanted to be challenged and the opportunity for me to do so arose, so I took it. And to be honest, I’ve been a little lonely in my one-bedroom apartment lately, so why not fill it up with a small bundle of love? Professionally speaking, a pet is much easier to tolerate than a boyfriend. Yes, I am a professional…a professional me!
Alright, at this point, I’m just rambling. But sometimes for the sake of your own mental health and happiness, you just gotta fuck shit up in a good way. Re-arrange your room, give sewing a shot or some other hobby, read a naughty romance novel, knock on your neighbor’s door and invite them over for dinner (AS LONG AS THEY ARE NOT CREEPERS), get a tattoo (avoid tramp stamps at all costs…professionally speaking again), or whatever. Anything goes in my book. And really, anything. For example, I got some tattoos because I wanted to; so I fucking did. To me, they are now a piece of art on my body that remind me of rather interesting and life-educational experiences in my life. Some really pricey pieces of art but it’s permanent so I figure that the quality was waaay more important than the quantity of the cost.
Alright. I’m done now (I wonder how many times I have posted that sentence in my blog? ) This homework isn’t going to do itself. Perhaps if I buy it a vibrator then my homework would begin to do so. *Lumberg voice from Office Space* “That would be great.”